Deep Blue Sea
We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Rules
Some movies you see, you know they’re going to be good, and they are good, and you write a good review.
Some movies you see, you think they’re going to be good, they suck, and you write a bad review.
Some movies you see, you know they’re going to be bad, they are bad, and you write a funny review of how bad they are.
And sometimes you’re just bored.
I saw Deep Blue Sea last summer in Lubbock, Texas, of all places. I was doing a training for the med school at Texas Tech the next day and I was bored just sitting around my hotel room. I found the movie theater (no mean feat, that) and the only thing that was playing that was any good at all was Deep Blue Sea.
On one level, this is an exceptionally stupid and derivative movie, no error. It’s Jurassic Park meets Jaws. (One wonders what other combinations there might be of top-grossing movies. Titanic meets E.T.?) There are some fun, bizarre moments, but there’s almost nothing to write home about. (Hey, and come to think of it, I didn’t write home about it. Not that I would have.)
However — and I say this with major reservations — you should see Deep Blue Sea. It has one major thing going for it, one thing that sets it apart from the run-of-the-mill action movies.
It breaks the Rules.
You know the ones I mean:
- The Star Trek Red Shirt Rule. The stars in a disaster movie die in the inverse order of their importance. (See Galaxy Quest.)
- The Brother Rule. Black characters always die saving white characters.
- The Sigourney Weaver Rule. Female leads in action movies are indestructible.
There’s a spot, about halfway through Deep Blue Sea, where the movie signals you that the rules don’t apply here. You’ll know it when you see it, trust me. After that, the movie gets sillier and sillier and breaks more and more rules. It’s a lame action movie, yes, but it’s a movie that knows it’s a lame action movie and spends some quality time poking fun at the genre.
Deep Blue Sea is not a good movie, or a well-acted movie, or a particularly well-written or well-directed movie. It has a couple of cute surprises, enough to make it a worthwhile rental on a really rainy day. (Or any day, for that matter, spent in Lubbock, Texas.)